Between Now and Then (part 6)

Favored One - All Along the Way

In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. And he came to her and said, ‘Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with your.’ But she was much perplexed by this words and pondered what sort of greetings this might be. The angel said to her, ‘Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God….’   (Luke 1:26-31)

The world has a way of changing all around us. Between now and then, we can count on that. We may have our plans and expectations and - even demands. Yet, right in the midst of the creation of our world-as-we-expect-it-and-want-it, things change. This is not simply a once-in-a-lifetime event. This is not even those changes we can expect as we age - for we often have a glimpse of what they will bring. Just the other day I looked down at my arm and saw the skin of my mother as I remembered her aging. The smoothness vanishing and the web of wrinkles so tiny it looked a bit like scales. I expected that - aging happens - live with it.

To be alive is to live within the domain of change. We can attempt to push change off by saying ‘this too will pass’ - but we soon find ourselves facing still another change in our lives. Many people flee from change. We can flee by actually running away - taking off for another life that will not have to face the change at hand. Yet, even in running off - things change no matter how hard we attempt to flee from change. For even in this running away - there is change. We also can flee by holding on - staying put - claiming a ground as though it is ours. Though this appears to be quite the opposite of fleeing, I would suggest it is how many of us flee the movement of world as it is handed to us

As I read the story of the angel coming to Mary to announce the birth of her first child I also understand that this power of God to deliver Good News remains in the story right through to the end. Even as Jesus spits-up, won’t sleep through the night, demands constant attention, and only knows how to take - in some way, shape, or form - the angel must have been standing alongside Mary with a banner: Be not afraid. Then,as is the case for most mothers (and parents), there comes the terrible-twos that merge ever-so-smoothly into the thwarting-threes or the fractured fours or the fickle-fives. This angel, or this vision as I see it, is there at every age - even when puberty begins to tip over the world. There is no intervention - there is merely a presence - a promise - a word of forgiveness and encouragement even as the changes become almost too much to bear. Even at the cross, there was Mary - facing yet another change she could have never imagined.

We have a close-to-three-year-old granddaughter. Yes, she is special and we think she is the best and the cutest - but that girl can change on a dime. After a day that went quite well, I made ready her nightly bathwater. The liquid soap near the tub gave me an idea. I would put some in the water so that it was already soapy - not full of suds - just soapy. As Lou came into the bathroom to get into the tub she pointed at the water, started crying, and made sure I knew that this was not right - at all. ‘That’s not the way mommy does it.’ The world had changed for her. To maintain order and make a way forward into the evening routine, I drained the tub and refilled it. She was pleased.

We learned over and over again during our stay that Emmylou was a change-agent. Yes the world was changing for her everyday, but she was also changing the world around her. Children will be children and we will try to understand them as best as we are able. We will even turn to the wisdom of others to help us through their changes as they become changes in our own lives. Yet, change will never stop and sometimes it can appear to be so overwhelming and out-of-control that parents, grandparents, and friends can be frustrated, full of fear, and unsure of what will come. That is how I look at the story of the Annunciation. We all need to hear that voice that acknowledges the complete change taking place in this time and place and yet it is coupled with that assuring vision ‘Do not be afraid.’ 

I must admit that I do not hear that assuring angelic voice when I am in the middle of those moments that are not running as I want them to run. I become confused. I react rather than respond. I am too willing to play power-games. Bedtime with Lou can become a war-zone rather than a time of mutual comfort and joy. I can be confounded - short tempered - at my wit’s end. Most difficult for me is how easily I let the changing character of the moment rule me. I found that I must work at maintaining a sense of humor - continuing a dialogue - understanding the distress at hand and not fearing the antics present. 

So today I tip my hat to Jamela and Jamie for they demonstrate the influence of a vision that must be touching them and saying ‘Do not be afraid.’ With an admirable consistency they form a team that keeps entering the moment with a vision of how things can be. They embody how change that seems to be the end of the world (or at least the bath) can become a time to hug, listen, comfort, or teach and shape. They also seem to understand that this little one - this wonder living with them and demanding their every moment - is changing and that one who is to come may be a gift that keeps changing the whole world. 

I must agree it is good that grandparents can leave and take a break. For soon there might be no grandparents alive to spend time and spoil grandchildren. But day in and day out - most of us remember those days - the world and our families are blessed with parents whose love for their children helps them hear the voice of a vision that is with us all to see us through whatever changes next. 

In my faithful imagination, Jesus must have drove Mary and Joseph nuts at time. Even as he grew there were times of distress and fear in which he tried their patience and simply made them wonder if they were doing the job that had been handed to them. Yes, I’m sure that if Joseph was a carpenter - they had a woodshed. Maybe it became a place of punishment at times. Maybe it became a place of teaching and understanding and dialogue. I don’t know. Yet, in those years of change, a character was produced. It was not brought about by a miracle or magic. It was brought about by parents who embodied a love that would become the shape of their son - no matter where that love sent him. It was brought about by friends and family who did not let the fear of the moment or the day overwhelm the vision of loves creativity in the middle of the strange and changing world that is taking place between now and then.

TRRR