Sunday, December 17, 2006

18 December 2006

After spending two days dealing with a text about slaves (1 Peter 2:18-25), today it is a must that we move into the text that flows out of that one - even though I find both painful to read.

Wives, in the same way, accept the authority of your husbands, so that, even if some of them do not obey the word, they may be won over without a word by their wives' conduct, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Do not adorn yourselves outwardly by braiding your hair, and by wearing gold ornaments or fine clothing; rather let your adornment be the inner self with the lasting beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in God's sight. It was in this way long ago that the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by accepting the authority of their husbands. thus Sarah obeyed Abraham and called him lord. You have become her daughter as long as you do what is good and never let fears alarm you.
Husbands, in the same way, show consideration for your wives in your life together, paying honor to the woman as the weaker sex, since they too are also heirs of the gracious gift of life - so that nothing may hinder your prayers.

This makes me want to be a bit like Thomas Jefferson and begin cutting out of scripture things I don't find helpful. From these two segments to wives and husbands, I would only want to keep a few part of sentences. The rest has no place in our conversation about the faith and the role of husbands and wives. Yes, we could go into the historical context of these passages and what was expected of people in marital relationships of that day...but it would bring us no good news. Some of the social pattern of another day must stay in another day. Some of the ways relationships were viewed need to be dismantled. This doesn't mean we dismantle the relationship of a husband and an wife, rather we make more of them now but within the context of our world. For example, in the first line to the husbands it says "show consideration for your wives in your life together, paying honor to the woman." I'd stop it right there. Don't continue with the rest for when we do, I think we lose the good news. We don't honor our wives because they are a "weaker sex." We honor them because they are whole people with gifts, talents, and the like. We honor them because they are simply there with us. No reason needed. We hold them as beloved - just as our God holds us. We treat them with the love we are asked to treat all neighbors...and more. As for the role of women, I would include the same advice to them about their husbands. Honor them as your partner...as gifted ones. We could do well to advise all of us to take care of our inner selves as a way of both partners revealing the beauty of personality that is a part of our whole being. Again, I would cut and paste here. Unfortunately, many people today are trying to make this kind of marital image the one that one must follow. Quite frankly, it honors no one.

Connection: We honor others because of the worth they already have in the eyes of God. Relationships grow when we see in the other their potential and help them reach into that reality.

Too many rules are placed into our way, O God, and we find ourselves unable to become people who see the beauty in the other person simply as a person you have created. Remind us how special it is to be in relationship and how our partners are to be honored and loved and we can expect to be held in just such a way. Bring us together in your love, O Lord. Amen.

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