Tuesday, May 21, 2002

Tuesday, 21 May, 2002

From "Amazing Grace by Kathleen Norris. In this book she takes many of the words and images of the faith and attempts to put some reality and life to them.



EXORCISM

When I think of the demons I need to exorcise, I have to look elsewhere; inward, to my heart and soul. Anger is my best demon, useful whenever I have to go into a Woman Warrior mode, harmful when I use it to gratify myself, either in self-justification, or to deny my fears. My husband, who has a much sweeter nature than I, once told me that my mean streak grieved him not just because of the pain it caused him but because it was doing me harm. His remark, as wise as that of any desert abba, felt like an exorcism. Not that my temptation to anger was magically gone, but I was called to pay closer attention to something that badly needed attention, and that was hurting our marriage.




Demons...we all have them. I remember when I first took the enneagram (sp) and read about the my "type." It wasn't pleasant. Unlike the Meyers-Briggs Type Inventory, the Enneagram shows you the dark side along with the light side. I was quick to say, "That's not me." But as I walked away and spent some time looking at myself...there I was...light and dark. O how I wanted to be able to say the dark side was not there...but it is. Now, just as Norris notes above, I must pay closer attention to a part of my life that is very real and able to turn my head in a direction that is less than graceful and peaceful. Becoming whole means we take in all of who we are. It also means we come to understand what those various parts can do within our lives. It is vitally important to see it all so that we can see the various times the different "heads" of our self raise a voice and attempt to be heard. At that time, we can name the voice and possibly name the reason for its activity. I know that when I am very anxious, there are some demons in me that just love to lift their voice and make their presence known.



Connection: Many time, it takes someone else to point out those demons. It is important to have friends and family you can trust. People who will serve as a mirror for us to let us really see how we being who we are.



Strengthen us O Lord, that we may be willing to face the demons within ourselves and be aware of the demons in others as we all attempt to move through our lives as your saints. Give us patience and give us courage to be attentive to the many ways we may choose to react with demonic force in our lives. Amen

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