30 June 2005

Chapter 7 of 1 Corinthians deals with marriage relationships - always interesting.

Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: "It is well for a man not to touch a woman." But because of cases of sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. the husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but his wife does. Do not deprive one another except perhaps by agreement for a set time, to devote yourselves to prayer, and then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. This I say by way of concession, not of command. (1 Cor. 7:1-6)

There are more questions to be asked in this text than there are answers given. In fact, many of the questions that we could and should ask about what is said are questions that do not come up within these writings. Some examples would be: Do we marry simply to stop the potential for sexual immorality? Is marriage all about sex - conjugal rights seems to be all that is addressed? What about companionship for life...what about two becoming one as in a many-sided and holistic relationship in which both sides find their lives complete in a Genesis kind of way of being human? What if a spouse has an unhealthy sex drive (idolatrous we could say) that is, in essence, abusive to the other spouse for the sake of self? What if conjugal rights become oppressive and so domineering that the spirit of life in the one is broken because of the "rights" of one being met as they would want them met? What if you do not have the need for a relationship, sexual or not, with someone of the opposite sex and you long to be with that person for life? What if the choice of celibacy is not really a choice - what if it is due to abuse or fear of relationship/rejection - could celibacy be quite unnatural? Paul would have everyone be like himself, but we don't know what that is - nor do we need to. Most of all, we must first consider the depth of the command to love one another and to love the Lord, God. Now...how - in any relationship within any community - does a person engage others so that all the people in a relationship or potential relationship are honored as beloved of God? Many questions that take us beyond the bounds of Paul's letter, and yet they take us into the many more facets of our life as sexual beings who are gifted with the wealth of our whole humanity.

Connection: In a culture longing for commands and rules to set everything in its place, today we can look to Paul to remind us that all of this "stuff" is not ruled by commands. Rather, there is always in relationships the need for concessions, exceptions, and that love that take us beyond what the world can offer us.

Creator of Our Humanity, we know that we rest in your love and we are called forward into this day to live within the brilliant image of your likeness. When we long for fences to rule us, show us a new and courageous way to follow you as you beloved. Amen.