living in the mire of fear, anxiety, and self-righteousness - oh my

I'm not hearing mercy. I'm not hearing reconciliation. I'm not hearing steadfast love. I'm not hearing unbounded forgiveness. I'm not hearing a welcome of the stranger. I'm not hearing humility. I'm not hearing self-sacrifice. I'm not hearing love of neighbor. I'm not hearing a concern for the least. I'm not hearing how the left out are brought in. I'm not hearing about peace or freedom - for all.

I am hearing threat. I am hearing blame. I am hearing calls for retaliation. I am hearing distrust. I am hearing fear rolled into hate. I am hearing love for those like us. I am hearing language of warring madness. I am hearing about us and them. I am hearing calls for death in many forms. I am hearing divisiveness made into virtue.

And then, I hear about Jesus pressing on to Jerusalem right in the middle of all that is being heard and not heard. I hear about Jesus touching those who are not to be touched. I hear about Jesus eating with those whose very presence at the table would defile the whole room. I hear about Jesus unveiling words of division and privilege with tales of love and neighborliness even when that is not what the privileged wanted to hear. I hear about Jesus keeping close to him those without power and credentials. I hear about Jesus drawing into question the assumptions of violent systems by speaking and acting in a manner that would not elevate him within the ranks of those systems.

Then, I hear Christians wanting to be among the powerful - the privileged - the in control. I hear them acting like they have just finished a pie made up of the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil and now wanting to be judge and jury for the world. I hear them riding the high horse of self-righteousness. I hear them more willing to make war than pursue the way of peace. I hear them wanting an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth and therefore sustaining the brutality of our culture. I hear them desiring to be in the winner's circle - the places of power - the centers of certitude - the dealerships of death.

I do not want to be a Christian who embodies the death of the powers of the world while dressed up in the clothing of lambs. Yet in our society - it is just too damn easy to do.

I want to be a follower of Jesus who takes the risk to walk to Jerusalem and display the life that the powers of the world - religious and secular - love to put onto banners but never into life. I need to hang out with people who - with fear and trembling - walk a different walk from that of the powers who have a stake in things as they are and listen to those who get trampled by the self-righteous of the world and embrace a promise for new life that is eternally connected to right here and now even when it is not yet fully in place.

But I know I am a coward. I am a Peter who would like us to go another way and avoid the way of new life so as to keep what I have. But that is to maintain and live within the power of a lie that has sustained the world's violence and separation without interruption. So today, after once again hearing the language of fear and division and the promises of a better life for us and a lynching of every one of them - I wonder how I will step forward in the way of the vision of God's Reign. Obviously, I need help. So the old call for help is still the call for this day: Come Spirit of God! Come Breath of Life! Come Spirit of Truth! Come!
TRRR