Merton comments about the person who does many things and is in love with his/her own excellence.
The pleasure that is in her/his heart when s/he does difficult things and succeeds in doing them well, tells him secretly: "I am a saint." At the same time, others seem to recognize him as different from themselves. They admire him, or perhaps avoid him/her - a sweet homage of sinners! The pleasure burns into a devouring fire. The warmth of the fire feels like the love of God. It is fed by the same virtues that nourished the flame of charity. S/he burns with self-admiration that thinks: "It is the fire of the love of God."
Self admiration is a glowing light...but how quickly it can burn out and how impossible it is to keep it burning forever. I find that this self "glow" is what becomes the foundation of the way religious people become quite contrary to the love they profess. Such "glowing" and "on fire" folk can become so condemning of what is not like them that they will not allow anyone who doe not experience life like them to be a part of the gathering of saints. Therefore, I would submit that when we let ourselves become such glowing lights, we are really living in a corner of the hell of our own making.
Connection: The warmth of the love of God does not depend on what we are able to do today. So...enjoy the warmth and come to life within its glow.
Inspiring Spirit, you brighten this day as you touch us with the gentle reminder of God's unbounded love for us. We blossom within your embrace. Amen.
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